


Tears like raindrops

by xxcoco



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Yamagata POV, and they are a lil bit too horny for each other, they are fools in love, they were friend with beneficts in the past... kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:47:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25137907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxcoco/pseuds/xxcoco
Summary: Love does work in mysterious ways. Yamagata and Goshiki meet on a rainy winter night after years of not seeing each other. There are words that need to be said, but damn his lips taste like honey and it's hard to resist.
Relationships: Goshiki Tsutomu/Yamagata Hayato
Kudos: 17





	Tears like raindrops

A concrete staircase illuminated in violet leads to the basement of the bar. Some steps are smaller than others or others are a little cracked. Once down, the heat is almost unbearable. The atmosphere is impregnated with a thick smell of sweat, cigarettes, cheap whiskey and blood. The place is illuminated by neon signs of different colors giving it a vintage and futuristic touch at the same time; the speakers rumble playing an indecipherable song. In the center of the basement, there is the main attraction, the raison d'être of all that circus. A quadrilateral rises approximately one meter from the ground, bounded by thick red ropes tied to four pillars. In two of the corners, facing each other, a pair of wooden benches. That, as many Saturday nights, was the scenario in which Yamagata would give his show.

The hour is approaching and people begin to crowd impatiently around the ring. Some shouts n threats and insults, they are totally sure that the man they bet on will win. Surely many of them, poor souls, have wagered their entire salaries because the fight that would take place that night was the most important in months.

In that underground world, Yamagata has managed to make a name for himself. For three years now he has participated in clandestine fights. All that dark, murky and even unpleasant environment has become a valuable part of his life. And there is a particular beauty in those fierce and bloody faces illuminated by a pink neon.

This time he chooses the black gloves with gold details, they match his pants. Yamagata waited in a makeshift dressing room until the presenter grit and his name, after mentioning his background. Twenty-four consecutive fights won, nineteen by knock-out. That moment always seemed and in slow motion, a confident walk to the ring while some shout his name and others simply boo him. The adrenaline begins to rise, the blood in his veins heats up and runs furious, like raging rivers. He is not going to allow another man to keep his glory.

Tonight, his opponent is not just any man, the bulging muscles and scars around his torso prove it; he has brute force and if he is not careful, Yamagata can be seriously injured. Luckily, his years as a libero have sharpened his reflexes, so he can change his offensive position to a defensive one quickly. As soon as the bell rings, both men begin to stalk each other; Yamagata tries to take him against the net, but the other man is agile and escapes. The fists come and go, but so far no one can give an accurate punch. Luckily, after a few minutes, Yamagata is the first to land a major blow, right in the left eye. The fight pauses momentarily to sew the wound with a poorly sanitized thread. When the fight picks up pace again, the man insistently throws wild fists with fire in his eyes, ready to take revenge, but Yamagata deftly dodges them, seeking a blind spot. Being so focused on his search, he does not see that fleeting punch coming that ends up impacting in his right cheekbone. People scream encouraging him, asking him to break the other man's nose.

Yamagata feels his body on fire, engulfed in anger and adrenaline. It’s as if his muscles have been strengthened from one second to the next. Taking advantage of the distraction of the man in front of him, who was very busy smirking to the public, he plunges his fist back into his right eye. The wound opens and the blood begins to densely flow. Quickly, Yamagata hit him with his left fist on the nose to knock him out of air. The rustling noise of cracking cartilage resonates in his ears. The man begins to back away awkwardly, with a panicked expression he perceives his vision turning red and feels his mouth filling with iron taste. That’s his chance. With all his strength, Yamagata throws a strong blow to the jaw, dislocating it slightly and loosening a tooth. His gloves are stained with blood and saliva. The man falls to the ground, dazed and dizzy, unable to stand up. After a few seconds in which everything seemed to be in complete silence, the public unites in a grotesque shout that shakes the foundations, approving the violent spectacle as if it were a Roman circus.

With a smile, Yamagata begins to look at those people who feast wild around the ring. Among all those unknown people who jump roughly, he sees someone subtly applauding with a big smile, as if they had seen a funny and even moving puppet show. He immediately recognizes that face. He could never forget it, even if he wanted to. It is as if his organs are twisted. His heart seems to want to escape from his chest, still high in the ecstasy of his victory. That person is smiling at him. After all, after so much time. Big, vibrant eyes as always. Yamagata cannot break eye contact even when the presenter raises his right arm, confirming his twenty-fifth victory. Still feeling as if he was floating instead of walking, he went to his dressing room, where he found a bag with the money earned.

As he rudely wipes the sweat from his body with a damp towel, since there is not even a decent bathroom in that seedy place, he thinks of that person. It's been five years since the last time they spoke, even despite promises to call every weekend. Yamagata does not understand why he has decided to return. Does he need him? Or does he just want to know why he stopped answering calls? It took entire minutes for him to take courage and get out. Maybe that person was already gone. When he leaves the dressing room, the basement is already empty. He walks up to the bar slowly, looking out of the corner of his eye to the sides. He is not there. Yamagata sighs, but he is not exactly relieved. Before going outside and driving to his apartment, he orders a shot of tequila at the bar. His throat still burns a little when the cold night wind caresses his face. Only then did he remember the injury to his cheekbone.

He walks a couple of meters towards his car while he looks for the keys of the vehicle in his pocket and just when he finds them, he hears a voice calling him.

"Hayato!" Yamagata is frozen but a chill runs through his entire body. Suddenly, that person is in front of him. Some things have changed, his figure is taller and slimmer and his skin is slightly tanned. Other things, like his bluish-black hair, signature hairstyle, enthusiastic smile, and vibrant eyes, remain the same. "Yamagata? I'm Goshiki! Don't you remember?" his voice is lower, although it still sounds somewhat childish. It has been so long.

"Of course I didn't forget about you," says Yamagata when he can process everything that is happening, "you just surprised me" he adds, laughing a little, he is not lying. He could never forget him. An inexorable feeling of guilt seizes his chest.

Goshiki smiles at him as if nothing had happened, "that was the idea," he exclaims simply. That shine remains intact, as does its ability to accelerate Yamagata's heart. "You should treat that wound," he mutters, looking at the injured cheekbone, "I have an idea! Why don't you take me to your apartment and help you heal it?" Goshiki proposes, suddenly excited. Yamagata could never say no to him. Not to those eyes. And this time is not going to be the exception.

The night is cold, the street is still wet from the rain. The puddles project flashes of various colors. People of all sizes and colors walk the sidewalks wearing elegant coats. Some walk alone, others go hand in hand. The music from different bars is mixed and blurred in the air. The bright signs draw brushstrokes of orange, blue, and red on their faces through the windshield. In the car, Yamagata and Goshiki remain silent. The tension is palpable. However, an old song suddenly starts playing on the radio. "You liked that song!" Goshiki says with a smile, turning up the volume. Yamagata smiles too, cheeks flushed for some reason. They both sing along and it is obvious that they remember those moments after practice games where they rested lying on the grass (Yamagata always held out his jacket so that the grass did not irritate Goshiki's skin), listening to music together while looking at the clouds.

With his right hand still on the wheel, Yamagata takes one of Goshiki's hands and brings it to his lips, kissing it gently. It was a very common gesture in their past days. Every time his kouhai missed a shot, Yamagata kissed his hand, promising that he would have better luck next time. The trick always worked. For them, personal space was never a problem. Their bodies seemed to be attracted by magnetic forces.

When they arrive at the department, Yamagata immediately treats his wound. It is not serious, the blow had been very weak. He is used to. Only disinfectant, half a tablet of ibuprofen and a little ice is all he needs. Meanwhile, Goshiki brews tea, moving around the kitchen as if he knows the place perfectly, as if it's not the first time he's been there. In a few minutes, they are both sitting on the couch with warm cups of tea in their hands.

"Tsutomu," the name tastes a little strange in his mouth, "I think I owe you an apology". A lot of time has passed. Looking back, Yamagata still doesn't understand their relationship. Hugs and kisses in the dark. The knowing looks. Whispers in the ear. "When you told me that you were dating someone... that made me very sad but I couldn't tell you because we were never more than friends, although it is obvious that we were," Yamagata has not lost the habit of looking into the eyes while speaking. Goshiki also looks at him intently, his cheeks flushed. "I apologize because I was a coward who was not able to tell you what I really felt", his eyes burn, he wants to cry but he will not allow it, "I was an idiot and I stopped answering your calls because I knew you were happy with someone else". Yamagata swallows hard, trying to undo the lump in his throat. At that moment, he looks down. “I was mad at myself… and also at you because you had forgotten me and I know it's stupid but that's what I felt. Then I did not call you again because I felt ashamed,” his voice is barely a whisper. The tea is getting cold. The room remains silent for a few minutes, only the distant noise of the busy Tokyo night sneaks in through the window.

It had happened in early August. Yamagata had been studying psychology in Tokyo for two years, determined to work as a sports psychologist in the near future. The career was tedious and he had never really liked studying that much. However, he was trying his best. Holidays were approaching and Yamagata had planned a week-long trip to his hometown of Sendai. He really wanted to see his family and friends. The first to know the news was going to be Goshiki, logically, Yamagata thought as he pressed the green button on his phone. In a few seconds, his call was answered and on the other end of the line he could hear that voice that always stole a smile from him.

\- Hayato senpai! How are you? How did your exams go?

\- I'm not your senpai anymore, Tsutomu . My exams went well, I studied like crazy. Listen, I have great news.

\- I also need to tell you great news!

\- Oh yeah? Then tell me. I'm all ears.

\- I'm dating someone! Can you believe it? You need to know him! He is like the sweetest person in the world, I’m sure you two will get along! We started dating a few months ago, but we didn't want to say anything until we were sure, I've wanted to tell you all this time! But I had made a promise and you know that a promise never breaks. Hayato? You still there?

\- Yes, yes. That’s… great! Like really great! You sound very happy… And I am happy for you.

\- Oh my God, yes! I’m so happy! To be honest I never believed that someone would notice me like that, you know? Hayato senpai you really have to meet him! Wait, you said you wanted to tell me something, what is it?

\- Oh yeah. I... it's not a big deal, actually, I was kidding, I just adopted a pet.

Yamagata cannot remember how that conversation continued. When he hung up, he felt his chest empty and his stomach knotted. It had all happened so fast. The throat closed; the eyes became moist. It was the first time in years that he cried and he cried without shame. The day passed slowly and the next morning only a feeling of misery kept him company.

Every time he saw a photo of Goshiki with his boyfriend, his chest became heavy, as if he couldn't breathe. As time went by, that feeling diminished, but it still hurt. Yamagata did not return to his city that year nor did he return in the following ones. He knew it was childish and unfair, but it was also clear to him that his heart would end up breaking if he saw Goshiki with someone else in person doing what they used to do in secret.

Time kept running and the wind carried away that feeling of misery, like the autumn leaves. However, the wound still hurt and bled if Yamagata thought about it and every night, closing his eyes, he wanted to forget. He wanted to forget those days when, naively, he believed that happiness would last forever; those days when he convinced himself that his place on this Earth was in those arms.

A hopeless romantic, perhaps.

On the last day of the year, the snow fell and dyed all the roofs white. The city was celebrating. Extravagant lights decorated the streets and the expectation of living a new adventure could be breathed in the air. Minutes before midnight, his phone started ringing. He knew who it was, there was no need to even look at the screen. Yamagata pretended not to hear that insistent melody and pretended that he did not know where his phone was, that he had lost it as so many times before. The city shuddered in a unison cry of joy, welcoming a new year and all the challenges and experiences that would come with it. The melody ended and never again rang. To this day, he regrets not having answered the phone.

Yamagata had always been a simple person. Compared to his peers at school, he had no big or expensive belongings. His house was not majestic. His computer and phones were not the latest model. His father did not wear a tie. His mother wore patterned skirts. Material things were never important to him, on the contrary, what he valued most were his loved ones and the moments they shared together, even if it was just having cheap beer late at night in a supermarket parking lot doing bad freestyle battles.

His genuine personality made him very fond of anyone. When Yamagata loved someone, he did it seriously and he could do anything to ensure their well-being. Family, friends, lovers, were part of his being, so when any of them left, Yamagata felt that he lost a part of his soul.

He had no resentment towards Goshiki. Although there were days when he felt deeply alone, Yamagata was able to get on with his life. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Now when he thought about everything that had happened, he felt ashamed. He was ashamed for having been a coward, for having let irrational jealousy cloud his judgment. Was he really in a position to demand something of him? If their relationship became so confusing, it had been their fault, but then he recalled, when they met Goshiki was only sixteen years old.

Slowly his life resumed its usual rhythm. Soon after graduating, he began to specialize as a sports psychologist while working with a basketball and soccer team. One hot Friday night, Yamagata was in a bar with a couple of friends, one of them told him about a place where clandestine boxing matches were organized every Saturday. Curious, he attended the fight the next day. That atmosphere puzzled him, but his soul seemed to vibrate throughout the night. While watching fascinated as a man with a bloody face fell and bounced on the floor of the ring, Yamagata decided to join that world. Beyond the adrenaline of the moment and the glory of victory, which he had so much savored in his teenage years, the truth is that he did not mind receiving hard blows that could disfigure his face because those eyes would not look at him again.

In all those years, Yamagata met many people and there were not a few nights when he slept with company. Women or men, he had never cared. However, he never fell in love again. Even after having sex with someone, he would go out on the balcony to smoke alone and he had the feeling of waiting for someone, someone in particular. When he looked up, he could perceive that all those people on their respective balconies transmitted the same melancholic loneliness. He didn't quite understand how he felt about Goshiki, but he knew very well that he would never feel it for anyone else.

"You never went to see me play." Goshiki breaks the silence, his fragile voice barely audible. He wants to be the most mature person, he wants to be the coldest person, but there are his tears betraying him once again. Hot drops fall down his cheeks without stopping, like two rivers; he cries like a child. He always does. "You promised you would come see me and you never did," he continues, drying his tears with the sleeves of his sweater. Yamagata feels his heart is destroyed, the last thing he wants in the world is to be the reason for his tears.

"Are you mad at me?" Yamagata asks when he could find his voice, dying to hug him.

Goshiki shakes his head, his bangs swinging, "although I would like to," he says in a veiled voice.

"You can hit me if you want." Yamagata offers his right cheek, patting it gently, trying to calm him down.

Goshiki laughs, rubbing his eyes to wipe away the last tears, "no, someone else did it for me," he giggles, looking at his slightly swollen cheekbone.

After leaving the cups on the table, Goshiki takes Yamagata's hands in his and brings them to his face. "Your hands are always warm," he sighs with a smile. One of those smiles that make Yamagata feel like he's melting. The world may be falling apart, but if Goshiki smiles at him like that... maybe things aren't so bad after all. Before he could react, Goshiki is on top of him, hugging him, "I missed you so much," he confesses in a sweet and soft voice, sinking his face into Yamagata's strong chest. He also hugs him, wrapping his arms around his entire body, and kisses his blue hair.

"I missed you too". Warmth, comfort, peace. Everything is there again and Yamagata feels that he really breathes again after years.

They spend minutes in that position, Yamagata strokes his back with the tips of his fingers and breathes in the sweet coconut scent of her hair. Many memories dance in his mind. Goshiki separates a few centimeters, to be able to look at him, "I never thought you would be so jealous," he says mockingly, making him blush intensely. In fact, they were always jealous of each other. Goshiki was willing to do anything to defend his title as the preferred kouhai, even when none of his teammates was truly a threat. "When Reon told me that you participate in clandestine fights, I thought he was joking," Goshiki rested his face on his chest, "but then I remembered when you broke the nose of that guy who, according to you, looked at me in a bad way". Yamagata laughs out loud. It is true. When he was a teenager, it was very common that he ended up fighting with someone, although he always tried to keep a low profile so as not to harm the team or the prestigious name of his school.

A fine drizzle begins to fall from the night sky and cold air moistens again. "Are you going to forgive me?" Yamagata asks muttering in his ear, his breath tickles Goshiki.

“Someday I will, not now. You made me wait five years for a stupid tantrum.” he responds without taking his face from that warm body that gives him shelter. Yamagata, hearing these words, feels like the luckiest person in the world.

"Tsutomu" Yamagata says without daring to break the embrace "I surely stink". Goshiki laughs, rubbing his cheek against his chest, "yes, you stink but just a little," he whispers, barely moving his lips. When Yamagata tries to pull away, he hugs him tighter, squeezing his torso, and whimpering slightly, "I'm only going to let you go if you promise me that you'll cuddle with me again later."

Yamagata cannot believe what he has just heard and, unable to contain himself, asks him if he wants to spend the night in his apartment. Goshiki smiles excitedly and nods, making his bangs dance. "I just have one toothbrush tho, I’m sorry" he jokes, already missing the heat that had surrounded him seconds before.

"It doesn't matter, it's not going to be the first time I've got your spit in my mouth," Goshiki giggles, lying across the couch.

The city is now almost silent, the cloud covered sky drowning the moonlight. It is dawn and Yamagata stares in disbelief at the image before him. Goshiki wears one of his pajamas (the fabric adheres a little more to his muscles and his ankles are exposed) while brushing his teeth with his brush, but his heart flutters even more when he sees him lie on his bed hugging a pillow and stretching his limbs, savoring the softness of the sheets. Goshiki invites him to lie down next to him and he accepts. It's hard for him to hide his nerves when his heart beats so hard. Despite the cold, his hands sweat. The bed never felt as warm as it did at that time and when Yamagata hugs Goshiki from behind, time seems to stand still.

The darkness and the smell of rain envelops them, sheltering them in their privacy. Only the proximity of their bodies is enough to heal the wounds.

Goshiki smells like cinnamon with fresh, spicy notes. Yamagata breathes his perfume with a smile on his lips. The emptiness inside him is now filled with warmth and that feeling of waiting for someone begins to slowly disappear. He is back where he belongs. The silence is comfortable, but Yamagata still has things to say. "You know, I've actually seen you play, on television," he murmurs, his voice low and velvety. The rain begins to fall again, the pattering of the drops is heard and the musty smell becomes more intense.

Goshiki turns his head in his direction, so that he can look him in the face. His expression is one of pure joy, rosy cheeks and bright eyes, "really?" he asks in an expectantly voice. Yamagata nods and hugs him tighter, "I'm not lying when I say you're one of the best players in the league" he adds, totally convinced of his words. Hearing him, Goshiki smiles even more, but then that vibrant gaze seems to drop, his eyes clouding, "you too could be one of the best".

The room sinks into deep silence for a few seconds, the phrase echoing in his mind a few times. Yamagata had never thought about it and the very idea seems ridiculous to him; a sardonic laugh escapes his mouth, "I don't think so, if I was a regular in Shiratorizawa it was because you were monsters who did all the work".

The rain falls insistently and in the distance the sound of a thunder is heard. Goshiki looks at him with a frown. He looks annoyed, even angry. Yamagata considers apologizing and retracting his words, but then decides not to. It was the truth and he could never lie to him again. The seconds pass. Suddenly Goshiki grabs his face with both hands and kisses him, right in the middle of his mouth. It's just a peck, simple and brief, but his lips are hot. "You used to kiss me every time I failed or doubted myself," explains Goshiki with a shy smile.

Yamagata feels hypnotized. There is a small flame burning on his lips. He knew him almost like the back of his hand and knew perfectly well what games his beloved kouhai liked to play. It always used to be like this, Goshiki coaxed him with an innocent voice and a dreamy look and convinced him that kissing in the closet of his parents' room was a better idea than helping him study mathematics.

The blood begins to heat up. Yamagata comes a little closer and whispers in his ear "you know, I have doubted myself a lot all this time,". As he speaks, his lips brush Goshiki's ear and tickles him. Goshiki looks at him with a mischievous little smile and, without wasting an instant, kisses him again. This time, Yamagata takes him by the nape and there is no point in pretending that this is their first kiss.

Their soft, warm lips move capturing each other, reclaiming the fresh taste of their breath. When Yamagata caresses his lips with his tongue, Goshiki moans softly and opens his mouth wider, inviting him. Thunder is coming. His tongue is thick, wet and warm and Yamagata rubs it against Goshiki's, who cannot help but sigh and his breath trembles. Goshiki sucks on his tongue, making him groan from the depths of his throat, and the kiss turns noisy. Their heads move looking for the perfect angle.

Yamagata caresses his body urgently and Goshiki, while still kissing him, stands on top of him, his legs flexed on either side of his body. The new proximity is intoxicating. His hands run down Goshiki's back to his ass and he grips it tightly, squeezing his buttocks against the fabric of his pajamas. Goshiki breaks the kiss and moans sharply, arching his back; his lips are soaked with saliva and his pupils are fully dilated. With shaky breathing, he begins to undo the buttons of his pajamas, exposing his muscular torso and pink erect nipples. Yamagata licks his lips, stimulated by the image in front of his eyes, and brings his mouth close to one of them. He takes the right nipple between his lips and moistens it with the tip of his tongue and then sucks it, and strokes the left in circles with his thumb. He feels them harden and swell with his touch. Goshiki grabs him hair with one of his hands, tugging on it hard, and moves his hips, rubbing his ass against Yamagata's erection as his own dick rubs against his stomach. They had both fantasized about that moment.

Goshiki arches his back exposing his chest further, offering himself fully; the pajamas slide down his arms and get stuck on his elbows. Yamagata feels drunk, Goshiki’s skin tastes like honey and he savor it with his lips and tongue; sometimes he bites, leaving marks because he feels like devouring him. The incessant friction in his groin pulls out a guttural moan and he, too, begins to move his hips, but his clothes get in the way. As if he had read his mind, Goshiki tugs on his shirt and takes it off with a little help. They melt into a deep, juicy kiss again. Their hot bare skins rub against each other and the room suddenly lights up with a lightning bolt. Without breaking the kiss, Yamagata takes off the pajama shirt, feeling the strong muscles in his arms.

They part when their lungs can't take another second and they look at each other, panting; as if in a trance, their eyes drowned in lust and anticipation. Goshiki strokes his face and then his hair, combing the long brown locks. "I want to ride your face" Goshiki confesses, his puffy lips quiver a little when he speaks. Yamagata bites his own lips upon hearing the proposal, it was a good idea. Goshiki lies to one side and stripped off the remaining clothes while Yamagata arranges a pair of pillows for a better position.

As soon as he lies down, Goshiki is already on top of him with his knees on either side of his face. "Hold your cock, babe" says Yamagata, grabbing his buttocks and pulling them apart a little. He obeys, with one hand he takes his erect dick and with the other he leans on the head of the bed. Yamagata licks his lips to moisten and begins to kiss his asshole, going up a little to his testicles.

Goshiki begins to move his hips, already exhaling shaky sighs. He tries to keep a slow rhythm, but his body betrays him when he feels Yamagata's tongue surround his hole and he presses his hip against his mouth, desperate for more. And Yamagata grants his wishes without saying a word, as always. That big and hot tongue creeps through its most sensitive parts, leaving a wet trail of saliva in its path.

Goshiki feels in paradise, his strong muscles contract and his dick drips with dense drops of precum that end up on the face between his legs. Yamagata licks and sucks, savoring that delicacy as if he were starving. The moment he thrusts his long tongue into Goshiki a loud thunder quiets his sharp moan. His face is soaked with spit and precum and all that sticky mix slides down his chin and neck. Goshiki begins to jerk off, massaging the head of his dick in complete ecstasy.

Yamagata feels his throbbing asshole contract and relax, expanding around his tongue. He easily inserts a finger and starts rubbing it against his prostate. Goshiki screams softly and the movement of his hips is becoming more erratic. For a moment, he has the desire to suffocate Yamagata between his buttocks and the thought produces a chill that runs all over his body, making his skin stand on end and his nipples harden.

The air in the room is heavy, infused with a dense smell of sex. Yamagata incorporates his middle finger and, after moving them in circles to push the walls, begins to fuck him with them, pulling them up to the knuckle and then putting them back in, pressing against his prostate. Goshiki jumps slightly making them go deeper and cannot contain his moans. He feels like sucking on something so he brought his own fingers to his mouth, imagining they are Yamagata's cock. The other hand was frantically moving over his own shaft, stopping only to play with the moistened slit. Goshiki feels the impending orgasm in his groin, like a knot that grows more and more. At that moment, Yamagata puts the third finger in and fucks him hard and fast, pressing his tongue and lips against his perineum; Goshiki's vision is clouded, his hips are frantic and his entire being melts. Suddenly that knot unravels and an electrifying heat takes over his body, making his muscles tremble and his eyes turn white. A deep, high-pitched moan escapes from his open pleading mouth. It is almost a scream. The feeling is too much, but there is something strange. When the sensation begins to fade, Goshiki looks down and his dick is still erect. Yamagata is making a ring with his fingers, pressing hard on the base of his member.

It is the first time that he experiences a dry orgasm.

Yamagata breathes shaky through his mouth, his chest swells and deflates noticeably. His face and neck are completely wet. Goshiki wipes his face with his pajama top, kissing him all over his skin. "That was incredible", his voice is dry, brittle. Yamagata accepts the compliment, smirking, biting his tongue slightly. Goshiki also smiles as he strips off his pants and underwear. His erection is finally released and Goshiki can't help but lick his lips; Yamagata's dick is circumcised and thick with a pair of protruding veins, the head glows moistened with the precum that comes from the slit in heavy drops. Goshiki looks up, looking him straight in the eye, "How do you want it?" he asks quietly, his cheeks turning crimson pink, as he takes the fat cock, massaging it from top to bottom. The touch produces electricity throughout Yamagata's whole body and his gaze clouds with lust; his voice is hoarse when he responds.

Goshiki’s face is attached to the mattress and his ass in the air. His back a delicious curve. His legs spread wide, offering himself completely. Yamagata observes the image in front of him. That muscular man, much taller than himself, with broad shoulders, small waist and thick thighs, surrenders so submissive before him, showing his dilated and lubricated asshole and his legs are already shaking a little. Yamagata quickly puts on the condom and brings the head of his dick toward his hole, teasing him a little by rubbing it in circles against the wet skin. Goshiki whimpers and arches further, his asshole throbbing. Finally, Yamagata penetrates him and his cock feels big and heavy.

Their voices unite in a long-awaited moan, their skins burn and the hairs on their bodies stand on end. If paradise exists, it is there, between them at that moment. Yamagata takes him by the hips and strokes his lower back with his thumbs, his dick is already fully in, Goshiki's buttocks are pressed against his testicles. His head is spinning, the tight heat surrounding him is intoxicating. Goshiki feels full and hot tears flow from his eyes. Yamagata's cock presses on his prostate and the constant stimulation is making him dirty the sheets with precum that falls from his slit in thick jets.

Yamagata starts to fuck him nice and slow; he pulls out his dick until only his head is inside and he shoves it in again. Their breaths are slow and ponderous. Goshiki also moves his hips, mimicking his rhythm, moaning his name faintly. The tears keep falling like the rain.

Perhaps motivated by the roar of thunder, Yamagata accelerates his pace and now his thrusts are stronger, continually hitting his sweet spot. The storm hides the noise of their skins colliding, as well as the grinding of the bed. Goshiki contracts his ass cheeks, squeezing his dick and causing a delicious friction. His interior feels tight, soft and warm and Yamagata doesn't seem to have enough of that feeling. He takes him by the hair and kneels down, making Goshiki sit on top of him with his legs at his sides and his back against his chest. The new angle pushes his cock even deeper and Goshiki screams in ecstasy. Yamagata caresses his chest and then plays with his nipples, pressing them between his thumbs and index fingers; Goshiki stretches his arms back, taking him by the hair, and begins to jump frantically, fucking himself. His dick bounces up and down until Yamagata takes it in one of his hands and begins to roughly fist it. Goshiki feels like he's about to explode, again. The tension throughout his body increases and his mouth fills with saliva. The moment Yamagata moans his name in his ear, Goshiki loses it. An obscene whimper escapes from his mouth while he cum loudly letting out thick streams of semen; his muscles tremble and for a few seconds his vision turns white. Yamagata grabs him by the neck, squeezing his throat, and thrusts into him over and over, chasing his orgasm too.

Goshiki can barely breathe and his head slowly becomes numb. Yamagata's cock continues to stimulate his prostate and also his bladder. The fear of urinating on himself was as aberrant as it was exciting. Yamagata is plunged into delirious ecstasy, Goshiki's asshole puckering against his dick, imprisoning him.

After three more thrusts, an intense orgasm hits him causing his entire body to tense and relax as he ejaculates in the condom, his hands leaving Goshiki's throat.

When they can both regulate their breathing, Yamagata gets up and goes to the bathroom where he throws the condom and looks for a towel with which he cleans Goshiki, who is already falling asleep. As soon as he lies back down, Goshiki hugs him, curling up next to him. Yamagata wants to say something, but he's exhausted and the sound of the rain is the perfect lullaby. However, he doesn't close his eyes until he hears Goshiki's soft, almost inaudible, snore.

The next morning is gray, just like the day before. It is a cold and silent Sunday. Yamagata prepares breakfast in his small kitchen and he cannot stop thinking about that man who continues sleeping in his bed. On the radio, a song with a vintage tune plays, a little sad, the kind of songs he likes to listen to while smoking on the balcony, but he no longer feels like he's waiting for someone. Right after pouring the coffee into each cup, Goshiki appears on the kitchen door. The space, now that he pays more attention, seems a little too small for him. "Good morning," says Yamagata, offering him a cup. Goshiki responds with the same phrase and a smile. Breakfast is quiet, they both eat while listening to music from the radio. Goshiki sometimes takes his hand, stroking his knuckles with his thumb. Yamagata, despite the winter weather, feels like a spring afternoon.

Neither of them wants to look at the time, but they know that this breakfast cannot last forever. "I have a game next Friday," says Goshiki and although he tries to make his voice sound disinterested, his eyes are full of expectations.

"Can I go see you?" Yamagata asks, unable to hide his shame, it remains a sensitive subject for him. Goshiki just nods, with a big smile on his face. "I have a fight next Saturday, you can go if you want," he jokes, but Goshiki opens his eyes excitedly and nods again, making his bangs dance.

Yamagata takes one of his hands and kisses it gently, his lips leaving a warm mark on Goshiki's skin. "What are we?".

The question echoes in Yamagata's head. What were they? Teammates who later became best friends, but then they discovered that the rose on their skins was electrifying and the taste of their lips was addictive, and all of that felt so good that they believed they didn't need words to define it so everything became confusing with time and distance. A cold breeze blew in through the window and another blue song played on the radio. "We are what you want us to be" is his response.

Suddenly Goshiki is kissing him and his lips taste like coffee and honey. Yamagata reciprocates the kiss, taking his face in his hands, licking the right corner of his mouth. Goshiki sighs faintly and smiles. The kiss is delicious, but too short. "I want to be yours and that you are mine." Goshiki's breath hits his lips, his voice is wet and a little shaky. Yamagata feels it all over his skin and a burning desire begins to grow in his body. And it was still like it was in those days. A little proximity and some suggestive gesture were enough for them to end up entangled, passionately kissing as if their lives depended on it. Yamagata pressed Goshiki against the cabinet, reclaiming his mouth, dragging him back into heavy, wet ecstasy. And Goshiki asks him to fuck him right there in the kitchen, and Yamagata does it. He fucks him fast, hard and possessive, causing Goshiki to cry with pleasure and ejaculate, dirtying the tiles.

After a bath, Yamagata takes Goshiki to his apartment. On the trip they talk nonstop, as if they haven't had time to do it before. Every time Goshiki laughs, Yamagata feels a heat in his chest and a tickle in his stomach. He knows he is in love, but he plans to confess his feelings on another occasion. Their relationship had always worked that way, in a few words. And it’s that just with a glance they tell each other everything, because that sparkle in their eyes cannot mean anything else.

Finally, they reach the apartment. Goshiki unbuckles his seat belt and lunges at Yamagata, giving him a loud kiss in the middle of the mouth. Yamagata smiles and kisses him too, stroking his left cheek with the tips of his fingers. "I had an incredible time with you," says Goshiki between the kiss, "I am free on Tuesday night," he then adds in a sigh, opening his mouth a little more when he felt Yamagata's tongue. From the sky, the rain falls again.

The kiss is slow, deep and juicy. Goshiki tickles all over his spine. Yamagata smiles when he feels his breathing shake, "then see you on Tuesday night" he says and his voice is low. He wants to fuck Goshiki right there and for all passersby to see it.

Between kisses, hugs and caresses, their goodbye lasts almost ten minutes. Their bodies appear to be attracted by magnetic forces as always. And the world is a better place when they are together; their souls feel calm, the rainy winter is not so cold after all and that feeling of loneliness is just a small passing annoyance.

Yamagata sees Goshiki enter the building and waits a few more minutes. When he's about to start the engine and leave, his phone rings and he answers the call without looking. "I just wanted to make sure that now you will answer the phone..." Goshiki murmurs on the other side, his voice is sweet, but it breaks at the end of the sentence and Yamagata can hear his soft cry.

"I am not going to break my promise, not this time". Gray clouds melt into the pavement in the distance and like the rain out there, hot tears fall down his cheeks. It is the first time that he cries in a long, long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! ♥
> 
> Ok, this fanfic is soooo self indulgent, i'm so sorry. SO the end... it's kinda open? like i'm not gonna lie... in the original version they dont get together because Yamagata runs to Goshiki's department and he finds someone else's shoes in the door asdjk. This is self indulgent not only because Yamagata is, how i like to say, un pibe de barrio, but because i kinda feel like when you are in your middle 20's everything becomes so confusing? specially love and relationships... i dont know, it's my own experience so it's totally fine if you don't agree :) 
> 
> AND the clandestine fights thing... 1) i (re)watched the fight club like days ago and i can't stop thinking about it and 2) when i was like 19 years old i went to a really expensive bar but then i went to the basement (why you might ask, and its obvious i did it to get high with my friends) and it was just like the one in this story. one of my friends told me it was a clandestine bar and they made parties there somethimes.
> 
> I feel like this story is very simple but it has a lot to say! there are some "plot-holes" because i dont know i think its funny when you read something and imagine what might have happened at certain times or how the characters felt. for example, the conversation they have over the phone, i didnt include any clarification about their feelings and emotions at that time, because i want it to be freely interpreted. Goshiki was really excited? Was what he was saying true or was it just an invention to see how Yamagata reacts? Is Yamagata's voice trembling or is it flat?
> 
> Ok, im sorry. So yeah, tell me what you think! I don't have twitter but i'm on tumblr as the fucking bisexual i am. my url is cocodrilx, you can talk to me there! hate comments are well recieved too.
> 
> Again, thank you so so so so much for reading!


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